Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I Attend Things

5: Fifth Round Weekend
4: 4th of July Weekend
3: A pretty good weekend down the shore
2: Having to work on the weekend
1: Getting dysentery over the weekend

July 2009 was a good month for attending various weddings, baseball games, concerts and birthday celebrations (hence the lack of postings). The events ranged from tolerable to outstanding, so without further ado...a full review of July ’09.

July 3rd: Wedding with Amber DeLeggas


This wedding ended up being a lot more fun than expected and despite several speeches comparing the groom’s love for his wife with his love for the NY Jets, it was actually a pretty good time. A personal favorite quote heard at a lot of weddings is “I can’t believe I’m not wasted, I drank so much.” Here’s the deal, you can drink as much as you want, if you take a break in the middle to eat a three course meal including lobster bisque, a salmon entree and cake, you’re not going to get that drunk, it’s simple biology. Overall, my table was pretty cool, the food was good and the open bar and DJ combined for a good time. Not a bad start to the month.

4th of July Weekend


Not bad, not great. You can’t win the all.

July 8th: Mets vs. Dodgers at Citi Field


I had a personal goal to see both the Mets and Yankees new stadiums this year and thanks to some free tickets from Mike PaulWallSki, I was able to make this dream a reality. Citi Field is a nice new stadium with the requisite souvenir shops, foods from around the world and good sight lines necessary to compete in today’s baseball market. As an added bonus it was one of Manny Ramirez’s first games back from a steroid suspension and the crowd was pumped to unload myriad insults on Man Ram (this is the kind of stuff I really enjoy, baseball is cool, but there’s nothing like hurling insults at a hulking hispanic guy with a drug problem when you know there is absolutely 0% chance he will do anything about it). The stadium is cool and except for an unnecessary women’s apparel store that only caries memorabilia designed by Alyssa Milano (I guess she's the boss when it comes to “designing” pink baseball caps), the place is great. Also, the Met’s won the game and there was an absolutely sick play that was all over ESPN the next day, this was basically the last bright spot in the Met’s 2009 campaign before everybody got hurt, that guy took his shirt off and got fired and Omar Minaya started getting death threats.

July 18th: Aqua-Palooza


People anchor their boats in the middle of the Barnagat Bay, listen to shi*tty music, eat sh*tty food and get sh*tty drunk, sit there for 8564703 hours and then try to drive home wasted...effin awesome. All kidding aside, it wasn't that bad.

July 19th: Rock The Bells/Paid Dues at Jones Beach NY


Insane concert, see previous entries for a full recap.

July 21st: Yankee Game at the new Yankee Stadium


I got tickets on Stub Hub for 30 bucks that were in the last row of the building (theoretically the worst seats in the house), there was a rain delay, our subway train broke down on the way there, we got there too late for monument park... and it was still awesome. This is without a doubt the best sports venue in the country, the views of the game are incredible from anywhere in the building (they let you roam around freely), there are about 25 restaurant choices, the shops are basically like mini-shrines to Yankee history, the museum could be a free-standing attraction, the food prices are high, but not astronomical, and the well trained staff was friendly and well informed. Combine all of this with a great game against the Orioles with several home runs flying out of the park and the ease of transportation thanks to being located right next to a subway stop and you have one of the best sports experiences ever.

July 24th: Wedding with Amber DeLeggas


The second wedding of the month was another winner. This reception actually featured a DJ booth with two large screens projecting pictures of the wedding party, smoke machines and an introduction of the new couple set to the Chicago Bulls intro music. This was clearly for the younger crowd and was more like a night at a club than a typical family wedding.

The end of the night brought about the most emasculating conversation I have ever been a part of, and I was so uncomfortable for this poor guy, I wanted to leave because I knew I could never look him in the eye again. As things were winding down we ran into a recently married couple that Amber went to college with, let’s call them “The Wife” and “The Oaf,” the following conversation took place, please keep in mind that I’ve only met these people one other time and neither was noticeably intoxicated during this exchange.

Wife: Being married is going great, I make him say stupid stuff all the time in front of his friends (this topic was not initiated by myself or Amber). Isn’t that right Oaf?

Oaf: Yeah (reluctantly)

Wife: Who’s the cutest bunny rabbit is all the world?

Oaf: I am

Wife: What?

Oaf: I am!

Wife: And why are you the cutest bunny rabbit in all the world?

Oaf: Because I have big floppy ears

Wife: And why else?

Oaf: Because I have a cute pink nose.

Wife: It’s so adorable! I can go on forever like that, the other night we did it for an entire episode of Golden Girls.

Oaf: I don’t watch Golden Girls

Wife: You F**kin’ love the Golden Girls!

After that final exchange I felt so bad for the kid that I actually pretended I was getting a call on my iPhone so I could walk away. I’ve been surrounded by all manners of buffoonery for my entire, but this took the cake.

July 25th My Father’s Birthday


We went to an Italian restaurant (big surprise) and with the exception of the bread basket catching on fire and nearly enveloping the entire table in flames, the evening was pretty uneventful.

July 27th: My Birthday


Amber De Leggas took me out to an awesome dinner at The Chart House in Weehawkin, NJ, gave me a ton of great gifts and despite being as sick as I’ve ever been in my adult life, I had a great time.

July 30th to August 3rd: Trip to Florida with my Dad and Amber


Again, being violently ill and forced to travel by plane and endure 100+ degree heat made the first few days of this trip pretty rough. However, by the last two days I was feeling much better and actually left the house. The beach was awesome (90 degree water) and getting a chance to relax in different surroundings is always nice.

Movie Review: Funny People


This movie is nowhere near as good as most critics claim even though it features Adam Sandler in one of his “serious” roles as a terminally ill comedian. The first hour is pretty cool, and shows the inner-workings of stand-up comedy from how comics write jokes to getting material stolen right before going onstage. This first half climaxes with a star-studded party that features a speech by Eminem about the trappings of fame and the uselessness of celebrating not dying if you have nothing to live for. Following this funny and poignant conversation, the movie devolves into an absurd drama about Adam Sandler trying to break up the marriage and family of a women he dated years ago but cheated on and lost. This movie had an interesting premise and executed it pretty well for about an hour, unfortunately the movie is two and a half hours long.

That’s it for July, hopefully August will be even better and provide some more fun and excitement before the summer ends.

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