Friday, September 12, 2008

Overrated vs. Underrated

Some things that are Underrated: 

Ice Cream Socials

 I have been to every kind of open bar, mixer, bar crawl, reception, picnic, tailgate, cookout etc. known to man and they all pale in comparison to the level of interaction facilitated by the Ice Cream Social. The fact that it combines something everybody likes (the lactose intolerant and people with eating disorders aside) with a buffet setting provides endless opportunities to meet new people and form lasting friend ships.  I have countless friendships that started with “Hey, you’re having wet walnuts? So am I, we should exchange numbers.” 

The Ice Cream Social is also very underused in our society because our social gatherings are usually alcohol-based, but think about some settings that are perfectly suited for the Ice Cream Social: 

After a corporate merger or acquisition: “Hey is that caramel or butterscotch?  It doesn’t matter because you’re fired.” 

At a funeral: “Pour out a little hot fudge for all our dead homies.”

Wedding receptions: This would be the best way for the bride and groom’s family to meet each other.

Male Guest: “I’m Jim’s cousin Ray and I’m having Rum Raisin with strawberry compote and whipped topping, what are you having?”

Female Guest: “I’m Pam’s friend from college, Alice, and I’m having Rocky Road, but I can’t find that chocolate topping that turns into a hard shell when it hits the ice cream.”

Male Guest: “Oh, Jim would never go for that, he’s a cheap bastard.”

Female Guest: “Damn, you wanna ditch this reception and go to my hotel room.”

Male Guest: “As soon as I finish the Rum Raisin!”

The musical prowess of Shaquille O’Neal

“Hey Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes....I’m a horse/Kobe ratted on me, now I’m getting divorced...Kobe tell me how my ass tastes.”  Enough said.

Overly Emotional Rappers

Rappers shouldn’t cry...period. Not Game, not Wayne, not anybody!  I grew up on Wu-Tang, Biggie, and LL, I’m cut from that cloth and these guys didn’t cry...ever. 

Some things that are Overrated:

Looking forward to social events for over a week:

Whether it’s prom, New Year’s or Cinco De Mayo nothing you look forward to for a long time ever lives up to the hype, it’s just impossible.  The best nights happen when you are not even planning on going out and you get a call at the last minute and end up having the time of your life.

Musical Talent

Why do artists like T-Pain, Brittany Spears and the Pussycat Dolls continue to make songs that are awesome? Regardless of the fact that they lack “talent” these people and others make disposable pop music that leave you feeling like a jerk for liking it...and then rushing home to download it.

Drinking like a destitute homeless person

Having a few cocktails with friends is cool.  Drinking straight scotch until you vomit blood, put your hand through a department store window or urinate on a police car is not cool  There is a limit and that limit should be respected because there is nothing fun about being locked up in the county drunk tank with teenage hooligans that just jumped a kid for his Starter jacket. Also, taking off your shirt in a bar is perfectly acceptable, being unable to locate that shirt at last call is the sign of bigger problems. 

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